The Happiest Iv'e Been
by TheMusicalProdigy
Summary: Duncan's dead, and I can't live without him... I know what I have to do. CPOV. I'm really bad at summaries. Read and Review!
1. 1 The Death Note

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tdi/a/wt/roti or their characters

The Happiest Iv'e Been

Chapter 1: The Death Note

I can't do this anymore. I have to write a note. My whole situation will be in it, and it'll be to my friends. Yep, I'm ready.

Dear friends (specifically Gwen),

I can't spend another second without Duncan. It's been two years since I've been with him. Two years too long. It started when I did something for Heather, then one thing led to another. I'll explain it to you.

Three years ago, Heather asked me to practice a script she wrote. I said yes trying to be a good person. Halfway into it, I noticed I had to kiss Justin. Not wanting to be a cheater on my boyfriend, I said that there was a kiss, and I couldn't do it. She replied with "I know, but it's just for acting." Since I thought it was only for acting, I kissed him. As soon as I kissed Justin, Duncan came in. What would you do if you thought you caught your girlfriend cheating? You'd run. That's exactly what he did. I tried to run after him, but he was already out the door. He dropped a box. After I figured I wouldn't be able to catch him, I picked up the box and opened it. A diamond ring was in it. The cushion the delicate ring was in said "I'll love you no matter what. Will you marry me?" That was the day when Gwen found me crying a sea into my pillow.

Three months passed and I was depressed because I hadn't seen Duncan since the "incident." The next three months, you guys helped me try to look for him. The last three months with no success of finding him or talking/seeing him, I went through depression again. Three months later, we finally found him. There was an exception though... He was dead. He committed suicide. I was 18 and he would rest at the age of 19. Over the next two years, we would both miss something. For him: my 19th and 20th birthdays. For me: him and my happiness. I was depressed through those two years, and I'm grateful for you guys trying to pull me out, but it wasn't enough. So today, exactly two years from Duncan's death, I'm going to stop crying, see him again, and rest at the age of 20. I'm killing myself. I can't live without my reason to do so. I love you guys so much, and I'm thankful and grateful for you.

Love,

Courtney Railyn Summer

I put the pen down, fold the note, and put it on my desk next to my bed, so they can see it. They will find that note along with other things. Those things are: a picture of me and Duncan, a picture of Duncan, a gun, and me. I put our picture in my left hand, laid down, and put Duncan's picture on my heart. I heard the sound of freedom to me, and a sound of despair to others. Metal against metal, I cocked the gun. Click. I put it to my head and whisper "I'll miss you guys, but I'll see you later", and pulled the trigger. Boom. I feel my soul lift from my body, and I know I'll be with Duncan soon.

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**AN:** This is my first fanfic so please be gently hard on me if that makes sense. NO HARSH FLAMES PLEASE! If you like it please review. Oh... wait... chapter 2 will be coming soon also... and maybe 1-2 more stories and a songfic... I'm in a mood that really makes me want to write...


	2. 2 The Burial

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tdi/a/wt/roti or their characters.

The Happiest Iv'e Been

Chapter 2: The Burial

A week later, I watched everybody at my funeral. Everyone is crying; Heather is too. She feels like our deaths are all her fault, and her hand has been burning from guilt. Even though it kind of is, I understand now. She wanted a last fatality because she was jealous that I have more real friends than she does, so she broke me and Duncan up. It wasn't her fault it was literally a fatality.

Everyone's gone now; they buried me under a willow next to Duncan, and Heather left early. I decided that the next time I see her, I'll forgive her.

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AN: I know it's a super short chapter... I think they'll all be. Next chapter should be posted sometime later this day. Now it 's time to thank the reviewers!

**Nevermore97:** Good to know! Seriously, because I think this story is really bad.

**Whoever the guest was:** I'll continue... until the fic is done.

**TheDancerLaRae:** I know; it's so sad. Thanks, please tell me if my details are too... detailed.

**I'll Cover Angel and Collins: **Thanks sooo much for the pointers and tips! I really appreciate them. I know I have to work on longer chapters... Anyways, thanks for reminding me to do the disclaimer and could you help me find a different title?

Okay! Thanks to all the people who reviewed, and everybody else... READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I'd really appreciate it.


	3. 3 Visits and Mercy

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tdi/a/wt/roti or any of their characters. I also don't own this new wayyy better title.

The Happiest Iv'e Been

Chapter 3: Visits and Mercy

Gwen visited five months after my funeral. She told me how much her and the others missed me. The same things we did with Duncan's death, but without me crying. I chose to reveal my spirit to her, and she gasped my name in surprise. I looked over her shoulder though because Duncan was behind her. I guess he wanted to pay her a visit too because he showed his spirit to her when she turned around. She then gasped Duncan's name in surprise. Since we got buried under a willow in a meadow, and it was a perfect day, Duncan and I broke out into a run, met each other halfway, and held each other in a tight embrace. I just noticed how cliche that is but whatever. We turned to Gwen, who was smiling at what she witnessed, and she waved. We waved back and, when she blinked, closed our spirits off from her sight. She left with a smile on her lips.

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Heather visited a month after Gwen, and her hand still burned from guilt. She knelt down, touched our tombstones, and whispered, "I'm sorry." She stood back up, so she could leave. Since I said I'd forgive her the next time I saw her, I exposed my spirit and stood in front of her. She looked at me wide eyed and said "Courtney?" Then, she looked around and found Duncan leaning against his tombstone with his eyes closed. All she could do was add an open mouth with the eyes say "Duncan?" She kept looking at him to make sure we were real until I took her hand in one of mine and my other hand on top of hers. It looked like toast with meat considering my mocha complexion and her light Asian one. She looked at me in astonishment. I made sure the hand I was holding was her burning one and gave her an "I forgive you" look. That made the searing pain stop. While she was surprised at the new information, she looked at our hands and saw my engagement ring. She understood that I had forgave her. She squeezed my hands as if saying "thank you" and "I'm happy that you're engaged to the love of your life." I let go of her hand and stood next to Duncan by his tombstone. As soon as she turned to see where I went, we shut ourselves off from her sight. She smiled a little and left with some thoughts:

_'She is my first real friend. She forgave me after I took her and her partners lives. That HAS to be what a real friend is. I need and want to patch up things with Gwen, Trent, Geoff, and Bridgette too. I want to be their friend because surprisingly, it feels good to have them.'_

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**AN: **Yea... umm I don't know what to do with all these stupid short chapters, but I'll try my best to make my other stories have longer ones. I think I'll make one more chapter and then be done. I'll start a new fic too though; it'll be summer break in 3 days! And one thanks to my one reviewer (I didn't expect my last chap. to have any):

**I'll Cover Angel and Collins: **Thank so much for the way more awesome title. If you feel like I ask you for too much stuff, please tell me.

All the other people out there in the World of Fanfiction... PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


	4. 4 The Last Note and Glowing Emotion

**Disclaimer: **I don't own tdi/a/wt/roti or their characters.

The Happiest I've Been

Chapter 4: The Last Note and Glowing Emotion

Our boss (God) let us write one last note to our friends about six months after Heather's visit. Heather is now officially friends with me, Duncan, Gwen, and the others. I don't know how the message will get there, but it will. My part of the letter is:

Dear friends (especially Gwen and Heather),

God let us send one last note to you guys, but that doesn't mean Duncan and I won't be with you. We just got assigned to be you guys' guardian angels. We miss you soooooooooo much, and we'll always watch and protect you. Stay strong to know that I'm happy. I'm resting in peace, and so is Duncan. We will see you guys sometime in the future; we love you guys so much.

Love,

One of your Guardian Angels,

Courtney Railyn Summer

P.S.

I'm engaged to Duncan, so I'll soon be "Courtney Railyn Winter" (haha, total opposites just like me and him)! We are waiting for you guys to come with us, so we can have the wedding. Don't worry though because it's worth the wait.

P.P.S.

I'm very happy.

And that pole that was up my butt?

It's not there anymore.

My world is beautiful.

And you know what?

It's all because I know I have real friends and Duncan's with me.

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**AN:** Thank God this story is over! I'm now working on a new story that won't suck as much as this one hopefully, and it will also have longer chapters. ANYWAYS, like I said earlier, this story is over; I most likely will never open it up again because I hate it that much. Now, I will quote what a good friend of mine has said many times... "Tally ho ****'s!" But you guys aren't ****'s, so don't take it seriously.


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